True Perception

This morning as I was meeting with the Lord my eyes were opened in a small way.  I felt my brokenness in a new way.  The Lord showed me not just my acts of sin that I normally see, but the general corruption, confusion, and brokenness of my mind, my desires, and my life.  Many of the "hard" aspects of my life are a result of my broken person; they aren't God's mistakes or oversights.  This brokenness is just as much a part of my fallenness as my active sin.  I need the Lord to rebuild and heal all of this just like I need His strength in resisting temptation.  Even in this state, He loves me and is eager to do the work in my life - if I will let Him.  

Yasa Fenerbahce!*

I will continue with the sports themed posts.  Saturday night I went with my roommates to a professional "futbol" match here in Istanbul.  Our neighborhood is home to Fenerbahce S.K. (literally, Lighthouse Garden Sport Club).  Currently, Fenerbahce leads the Turkish Super Liga with only a fews weeks to go in the season.  

I had to make to a match before leaving Turkey.  This night Fenerbahce handily defeated Denizli Spor 4-1.  We sat in the very top row of the upper deck, the far side of the field was blocked when we stood up.  While the crowd wasn't too fierce for this game, it was at least on par with most American sports events.  Fenerbahce is the "Sari Kanaryilar" (Yellow Canaries) so on defense the stadium absolutely rings with the sound of people whistling (like canaries I guess).   We had trouble following the chants, but caught onto a few . . ."Lie, lie, lie. . ."

Overall the experience was pretty similar to American sports events.  Everyone stood for the national anthem and there was a moment of silence for those in the armed services.  I am however, not accustomed to being frisked twice before I can enter the stadium.   

*"Long Live Fenerbahce!"

Cycling Comes to Turkey

Today I watched the prologue stage of the Tour of Turkey, a week-long cycling race in western Turkey.  This is a collision of worlds, my life in Turkey and my love of cycling (and its absence in my life right now).  The race included a few top level Pro Tour teams that ride in the big European races though very few big names are riding in the race this week.  

 

The course today's criterium wound through the old city passing the Aya Sofya and Sultanahmet Mosque as well as some historic neighborhoods.  Large sections of the course were cobblestone or brick-paved and featured some narrow streets.  

The whole experience was fun, but a little bizarre.  The whir of the tires on the pavement made me want to join in.  It was also fun to actually know the strategies of the teams as they jockied for position.  Ever since I've been in to cycling I've wanted to see a professional race with the big name teams.  I never thought it would happen in Istanbul.  

This will "get your blood up"

So even here, on the other side of the world I manage to keep up with the US presidential election.  I think I enjoy being able to follow it at arms length more than I miss being there for every detail and press conference.  I just heard about Obama's comment about "bitter" working-class voters in Pennslyvannia who have been suffering layoffs and seeing their jobs shipped overseas for 25 years.  Interesting stuff, but he might just be pulling his foot out of his mouth up until the day he loses the PA primary.  In at lot of ways I think the comment is on the mark, but that of course isn't always what politics is about.  Our buddy Barack did however venture into uncharted waters when he claimed that working-class voters, in their bitterness, are "clinging to guns or religion".  Whoo.  That stings.  First, Barack, I thought you were a committed Christian (not a Muslim).  Second, thanks for showing us just your high-minded, elitist, extremist liberal, wacked-out secular humanist, and prickish side so we don't get confused in November.  Until then, best of luck against Hillary.

Its a good thing I'm from a comfortable middle class background or I might have been insulted.

To make the whole deal even more interesting I checked out CNN.com to get an American perspective on the situation.  In their article they quoted much of what Obama said, but conveniently failed to mention the "clinging to guns or religion" line.  I have been reading complaints about CNN's proBama stance, but now I believe it.  

Who am I?

I have just returned from a week in the US for the wedding of a very close friend (congratulations Jeremy and Sarah).  The week had its ups and downs.  It as almost like a vision trip for returning to the US after my time overseas.  I got a sneak peak of what life will be like in three and half months.

A lot of things came across my path that caused me to think and search.  The questions of who I am and what defines me came as I traveled between two places that, in some ways, feel like home.  I feel like I left home to go home and then left home to return home.  I am an American, I grew up in the US, the US is home.  At the same time, I've spent the majority of the last two years in Turkey.  I have done a lot of adjusting here.   This is where my work and purpose is at the moment.  I feel pretty normal here (though there are always gawking eyes to remind me that I don't fit in as much as I might think).  I have two normals.  This struck me as I pretty easily slipped back into American life driving the freeways of Detroit with my brother.  Differences in scenery and culture that were a little shocking when I returned to the US in the past were just there this time.  I don't know if this makes sense, maybe you have to experience it.

Culture is a fascinating and confusing thing.  My experiences living overseas lead me to wonder how binding culture is.  Will someone who has grown up in the United States always be an "American"?  How much of our original culture do we unknowingly carry with us.  I have seen how quickly people can adapt to another culture, but I have also seen how deeply engrained culture can be.  This makes me wonder about my great, great, great, great grandparents.  They, probably like some of your ancestors (at least if you are like the average American), came to a strange place from far away and were thrown into a new world.  For most going back was never an option.  It was sink or swim in their new world.  What of their culture did they try to hold on to?  What did they try to cast off?.  

I am nearing the end of a two year cross-cultural immersion and I find myself asking the question "who am I?"  I don't know if my identity is growing or shrinking.  Sometimes I feel like the Dan who has experienced a lot and is a well-traveled "man of the world".  Maybe in this way my understanding has grown and I am able to relate to more and more people.  At other times I feel like my identity is "smaller", made up of and connected to less things.  I feel like just Dan, not American Dan, UM graduate Dan, and not economics and political science student Dan.  All the ornaments that have been hung on the tree of my person to form my identity suddenly mean less when they are pulled out of context.  This is kind of freeing as those things don't actually define me anyways.  I am defined by my being in Christ.  He is my constant no matter where I find myself.  He never loses meaning because He is never out of context. 

When I enter a new place I love to say to myself, "The LORD is the Lord of this place too."  Whether it has been on a beach in Thailand, a runway in Uzbekistan, or a crowded street in Turkey, the LORD is always Lord.  As much as I like to travel and explore, sometimes when I am in a new and strange place I get a cold, empty feeling in my stomach that voices the loneliness of being a stranger not just in a foreign place, but in this world.  Its in those moments when I really feel the immediacy of my need to run to Him and be found in Him.  The Lord has used this stripping away of the familiar to send me running to Him.